Convinced (Part two of A Single Coin)

We both stood there. each of thinking hard. each of us trying to process this news. my sister? But they said she died. if she's alive, is mother alive? 

Peggy must have read my mind, and before I could get my hopes up she crushed them. Like a heavy man stepping on a bug. Squish.
   
" Mother didn't make it. Just me..." She says softly. She must feel awful too.  My soul sinks. 

   "Pat where have you been living? You look awful! We have to give you some food and a bath and-"

   "Ohhhh-noooo you're not. I'll stay here." I cut her off.

   "What? Why would you stay in this filthy mess!?" She says, as she kicks a piece of garbage away. 

    " You know why..." I say harshly.

    "Oh... it's not like that pat, you'll see! The ringmaster will want you to be part of his show and-"
She stops, realizing she has injured my feelings "Pat...I'm so sor-"

    " THE RINGMASTER!? Do you think I'm an animal! I'm not showing this to anyone. it's not a talent and I wont be treated like, like, DIRT! I will NOT have people pay to come and look at me. I can't believe you! If you really were my sister I don't think you would want everyone to laugh and point and tell their friends to come and look at the devil's offspring!"
I'm screaming at her. I can see I've hurt her too. Deeply. She is just trying to help me. But I stubbornly don't apologize.

    "Pat...I don't mean to hurt you. I just want to...help you....you cant go like this. It isn't right. You are most certainly not dirt.  but you get fed loads for every performance you put on at the circus. The ringmaster is very strict but you will get used to it all I promise. and Laura is sublime! oh you would adore her." she coaxes. She has a very soothing voice. she really is convincing me. She goes on to describe the food and I'm hooked. I'm starving! I can't pass up an opportunity like this!
 
She must see that I am really leaning towards going. so she says,
   "So? What do you say? plus, there is popcorn....." she adds with a sly smile.
   " I'm in. but if I don't like it, I'm leaving!" I manage a smile as she helps me up. Popcorn. that sounds delicious.

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